Suicide Prevention is Pick Up

Apparently Oasis references can save lives.

I'm part of a fandom online -- rather, I'm usually a lurker, but I registered on a particular site yesterday. I wanted to join in the discussion, so I brought up the most recent posts, one of which was a stranger's suicide note.

This was probably more a cry for attention, but I am Matthew Pecot; I posted, saying that if she wanted to talk, I'd be happy to listen. It went back and forth -- me, one of her friends, and another stranger -- making no clear progress, until I called her "morning glory".

Fast forward to this evening, and she's still active. She hasn't posted anything, but she's Liked some pictures, so I know she's still alive. I'm smart enough to know that there was other stuff going on, that other people (especially her friend) were already talking to her. Most of the credit probably goes to them and what they said; at most, I helped crack a veneer of angst.

But the idea that pick-up, for all that people call it sleazy (usually myself included), could help to save lives? A fascinating, bizarre notion.


--

That's not the only interesting thing about this, though. One-liners below:


"I want a gif of Flynn (from Adventure Time) running around with his hands wobbling in the air, caption 'I DON'T KNOW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT'".

--This is exactly how it felt. I fell back on the Morning Glory line because I had nothing else I could pull from. For fuck's sake, I'm a professional face, working as a community manager, and I still felt helpless to help her. When just saying "If you need to talk, I want to listen" isn't enough, how can a stranger help?

--I'm going to ask around for resources on how to help prevent suicide. The entire time this was happening, a part of my brain was screaming that I don't know what I'm doing.


In any traumatic situation, as the wait time increases, so too does the chance of getting bored and checking Facebook.

--Seriously. After I and the stranger made our latest posts, there wasn't much we could do besides wait. I didn't feel comfortable starting up a game, but being on call meant I couldn't go to sleep, either. So eventually, I spent an hour going through imgur, checking every few minutes in case she responded.

--It was odd and disheartening how disconnected I felt the whole time. Don't get me wrong, I hoped and hoped that it would turn out OK, but I also didn't feel like my life or happiness was resting on the outcome. It was very disheartening to think that, if someone died who I'd tried to help, I would probably be able to get through the next day.



So... there's a story about how Oasis could save lives. I don't really know how to wrap this up; on the one hand, I'm feeling disconnected enough that I could maybe write out a moral, but I'm also still digesting this. I guess take it as a story of how complicated people are.

Because they are. Dear God, are people complicated. If I didn't know before, now I know from the stranger in the conversation say that she could empathize, because she's traumatized and she  does BDSM and "every time she lets someone top her, she has to tell them that she won't stop them if they try to kill her."

To quote South Park, and I think the man Himself would agree, "Jesus FUCK," dude. People are complicated, and I can only hope I helped.